I was watching footage of a well known comic performing a show when he visited Australia recently. Whilst watching this, I came to the decision that he deserved a prize – this prize unfortunately was not for stand-up brilliance. The prize I would award is for being approximately the 3,874,322nd person to commit the two biggest errors any comic can commit when visiting our fair isle. As a public service announcement I have written this short note to assist any comics from boring the pants off us with this way too common occurrence.
OK are you paying attention? Please take notes and ask any questions you find necessary.
Error 1. Talking about our dangerous wildlife. Sure Mr Overseas Comic it is fascinating to you but you are speaking to a room full of people who actually live here with that wildlife. It is of absolutely no interest to us to hear you explain that we have snakes and crocodiles. We are aware of this and have done so for some time now and neither surprises or astounds us. It lacks the power to astound us in the same way it would fail to astound an Inuit to be told they have a lot of snow.
Error 2. The convict thing. Non Australians mistake our disinterest in this subject for reticence and a reluctance to discuss our shameful past. This is incorrect. I doubt anyone in Australia would be disappointed to find a convict ancestor. Our convict past, much like the wildlife thing is not a big talking point between us. Having known about this all our lives it now lacks the power to astound, fascinating as it may be to you. Our convict past happened over 200 years ago and a few more things have happened since then. We do not speak of it often in the same way as any nationality avoids speaking of events that are commonplace, well known and long in the past.
So there you go simple steps so any comedians touring Australia avoiding being number 3,874,323. Australia will thank you for it.